My mother is an early onset Alzheimer’s patient at the end of her life. She was not eating and even choking on water. Hospice came and said her bowel sounds were minimal and her breathing was labored and slow and even suggested she may have 24-48 hours left. The next day she started drinking water and eating again and her vitals were rechecked and they said everything sounds fine now. She is still bedridden and sleeps a lot and jerks her body around. We have no idea what’s to expect as she is not living any quality of life with being unable to even speak. Nobody is able to tell us anything but hospice is still coming daily and seems concerned still even though all of her vitals are fine and she is now eating and drinking when prompted. Someone please help me with some suggestion on what to expect. We can’t take this torture anymore.
It may not last long.
Check out Hospice Nurse Julie on You Tube.
I am surprised that your Hospice nurse did not mention that rally's can happen.
This seems to be coming down to the end.
In the end you do not want to give food and fluid if swallow is weak or not present due to the fact it will be quickly aspirated into the lungs and cause aspiration pneumonia and quite a quick death.
You will want to test the swallow reflex with a bit of thickened water (a powder called thicket can thicken).
Then, if she can swallow she can eat.
Just don't force things she doesn't want as that prolongs the suffering and the end. Some one here said that every moment of life is precious. This old nurse says, nope. Not always.
Good luck.
Don't get me wrong; things are surely not back to whatever your normal has been before hospice was started. But if she is in a care facility, you can sleep in your own bed and check on her frequently. It is unpredictable and I hope you have other family members and friends to give you some support. 15 years is a long time.
I thought I would about lose my mind the last week of the 2 weeks I took care of my brother on hospice alone during Covid. I was desperate and finally hired a night nurse. We only needed him 2 nights. If I had hired a nurse sooner, I could have been more present in his last 48 hours. Your mom is someplace where she is being watched so you need to let them do this for your own sanity. They will call you if something changes rapidly when you step away to sleep or eat. You will be more present at the end if you take care of yourself by getting some sleep.
couple weeks to make sure she is as comfortable as possible and feels how loved she is. Not that I don’t agree and appreciate your input that is just where I am in my thinking.
The human spirit is a funny thing. My Friend just lost her DH. They did not think he'd make it till Thanksgiving. Well, he rallied and spent Thanksgiving in Rehab with his family. Two weeks later he was gone.
The first sign of the body shutting down is they can't swallow. At that point to give her water or food does more harm than good. No one can tell you when a person will pass. The nurses should be able to tell you when she is actively dying. From the time my Mom could not swallow, it was 6 days.
No food and fluids should be forced upon her. She should be allow what she wishes to eat. It does sound as though she may have had a kinked obstruction that straightened itself out if there were no bowel sounds at some point. This can happen.
I am very sorry. These things can go so slowly, but without any food intake at all it should not exceed 30 days unless there are great levels of fat-stores in the body.
Speak with doctor.
Speak with hospice.
They can tell you ever so much more than a group of strangers who don't know Mom, her medical conditions, nor her current state.
We CAN and absolutely do offer you our sympathy and understand how awful it is to have to stand witness to suffering in this manner.
Hang in there, your doing great, this will be over , when it's over, it's all we can really say. 🫂🙂↕️💞
And even when on Aug. 5th 2020, hospice told me that my husband would be dead in 3 days, he lived 41 days until his death on Sept. 14th 2020.
When your mom is in the actual dying process she will no longer want any food or drink even if prompted, so I would just wait for her to turn down both before stopping to offer both.
Only the Good Lord knows the day and time that He will call your mom Home, so for now just enjoy whatever time you may have left with her and make sure that you leave nothing left unsaid.
I would also recommend speaking to the hospice nurse further about the dying process. Dehydration is often a natural part but goes against everything we’ve ever learned so it’s difficult to let that piece go. I wish you well—please reach out to the hospice team and perhaps even show them your question here. I also remind people to call the hospice staff whenever you have a concern, there’s a reason they have 24 hour availability.