My dad was seeing things having hallucinations and we decided to take him to a neurologist. He had had a heart valve replacement 2 months prior, home next day, another hospital stay a week after for pancreatitis and his mental started going down. We went to the neurologist appt and he had an “episode” that mimicked a stroke. But he didn’t have a stroke. He had old strokes. Admitted him to the hospital and from Thursday to Monday he went downhill and is a different person. Diagnoses is vascular dementia. This was all so sudden. I thought dementia developed over time. They said the chronic strokes combined with traumatic events (heart valve surgery, pancreatic hospital stay, going to the Neuro doc) caused him to “step down” mentally. I need this to make sense because it does not. In don’t see my father living much longer this way.
me, knowing everything i can helps me feel in control. I hope your journey down this road is not a long one and that your father can beat peace
However, a stroke is an attack on the brain, so everyone who goes through it will experience it differently.
It might help you to make sense of what's happened to your dad if you think of the dementia as brain damage. It seems that this has been quite severe in your dad's case.
I'm so sorry. I wish you strength in this difficult time. And I wish your dad comfort and peace.
Mum was in a coma for a couple of days, too, in the intensive care unit of the Royal Free hospital in London. Later, for a while, she knew everyone else except me. She kept telling me to stop lying when I said who I was.
Although it didn't last, I didn't know that at the time, so I understand how hard this is for you.
Don't let your mum's condition take over your life. This illness doesn't negate the love she had for you before she lost access to her memories of you and her adult life. But that woman has gone. Now, you need to take care of yourself.
I think everyone's story helps us as we might find a similarity in our life that we can relate to.
I'm surprised the social worker gave you no options other than returning your father home to live alone!
The next time he is hospitalized, refuse to pick him up. The hospital won't want to keep him indefinitely, so they should find a skilled nursing rehab or long term care to transfer him to. Medicare will pay for 20 days inpatient skilled nursing rehab, and up to 100 days with a co-pay, but only under certain conditions.
Try contacting the county social services department directly and help your father apply for medical assistance (Medicaid).
Perhaps he does have enough in Social Security income to pay for a skilled nursing facility. Check around. Ask what the cost is at different facilities, and when you tell them he doesn't have enough income, they may be able to direct you to some other options.
He might be able to afford an in-home aide to check on him and spend a few hours with him during his most vulnerable time of day.
The speech of a person with dementia is not always easy to understand so if they are slurring their words or if the words come out "garbled" you may think that is "normal" for them.
Trouble walking, talking, understanding, facial weakness, balance, trouble swallowing and many others. are signs you might look for if someone is having a stroke but are par for the course in a person with dementia.
So if you "miss" the signs of a stroke don't blame yourself it is dementia that is dealing another bad hand. in a sucky game of life!
I suspect he also had Vascular dementia.
I compare Alzheimer's to walking down a long ramp. A somewhat slow and steady decline.
My Husband's decline was slow and steady then he would take a step down all of a sudden, level off and continue the slow decline.
He would be able to do something one day and literally overnight he would be unable to do the same task the next day.
Since he was on Hospice I kept track of each decline and if I called 911 for a Lift Assist I would write that on a white board I kept.
Looking back at the calls for a Lift Assist each one of them coincided with major decline. I do not have any proof but I suspect that each of the episodes was probably related to a mini stroke.
Your dad would probably qualify for Hospice. I know that is a scary word for many people but it does NOT mean end of life. and it does not necessarily mean that he has only 6 months. What it does mean is that he has a life limiting, untreatable condition that at some point will take his life. As long as he meets the guidelines that Medicare has established for recertifying someone he can remain on Hospice. (my Husband was on Hospice for almost 3 years)
What you will get is support, a Nurse that will come see him at least 1 time a week the nurse will check his health, order medications, and any medical equipment that you need. And a CNA that will come 2 times a week to give a bath or shower and order all the personal items that will be needed. Briefs, wipes, gloves, ointments, absorbent pads. You will have a Social Worker, Chaplain as part of the Team assigned to him. You can also request a Volunteer to come stay with him for a bit once a week. Medicare also covers Respite Stay each year so that you can get a real break.
((hugs))
Post-stroke recrudescence (PSR)
This is when someone experiences a brief recurrence of stroke symptoms they've previously recovered from. It's fairly common, affecting about 10% of people who seek medical attention for transient neurological issues. Symptoms are usually mild and last less than a day.
Ischemic stroke recrudescence
This is a rare condition where someone redevelops symptoms of an ischemic stroke they've previously recovered from. Symptoms usually develop about four years after the initial stroke.
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Was he ever tested for a UTI? Besides a stroke, a UTI can "suddenly" create dementia-like symptoms.
Being in the hospital for any length of time can also cause what is called hospital delirium too.
Because there are so many different dementias and doctors still have a lot to learn about them all, loved ones often get misdiagnosed.
But if in fact your dad now has vascular dementia which is the most aggressive of all the dementias with a life expectancy of just 5 years, his decline will be much more noticeable than say someone with Alzheimer's which is the slowest progressing of all the dementias. And to me that can be a blessing as we don't have to watch our loved one suffer quite as long.
My late husband was diagnosed with vascular dementia in July 2018, after showing signs a good year prior, and he died in Sept. 2020, and I am grateful that my husband didn't have to suffer any longer than he did.
So I will just say to enjoy whatever time you may have left with your dad, and make sure that you leave nothing left unsaid.