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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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How would you compare the differences / similarities between caring for elderly parents vs. an elderly spouse? Of course, each situation is unique, but generally speaking, which do you think is more difficult?
I’m only going to touch on the emotional aspect in general because the actual caregiving can vary so greatly .
On the one hand , we all expect our parents to die . However , During caregiving , I did not expect how selfish , unncooperative , and unappreciative a parent can be, as well as the entitlement without seeing how it impacts their adult child. Plus they don’t want to listen to their child .
Caring for and watching a spouse decline, I imagine still has to be emotionally worse . A spouse is your life partner , your other half .,
There is no respite for caring for a spouse. It's a 24/7/365, sleep depriving, high anxiety, mental and physical challenge. If I hired someone a few hours a day to give me some respite, when those hours were over, I had to plunge right back into it.
You have no financial responsibility for your parents' care. Whether your spouse is receiving home care, adult day care, or is in a care facility, you foot the bill.
Loss of freedom- your activities outside the house are curtailed. You become increasingly isolated.
The healthy spouse's anticipation of the loss of intimacy, shared plans and dreams, enjoyable experiences add to the grief they're already experiencing.
Perhaps the biggest difference in caring for a spouse vs a parent is the contractual commitment (marriage vows) to care for one's spouse. This can seem like a significant roadblock to proper care and can contribute to excessive stress, guilt, and the feeling of entrapment (inability to escape the situation). This commitment can make one feel OBLIGATED to care for his/her spouse without regard for either their own or their spouse's well-being. Being RESPONSIBLE for your spouse's care, however, can give you choices that consider both your spouse's and your own well-being. Considering placement of a spouse in a care facility when the carer can longer meet their spouse's needs IS caring for him/her and fulfills your commitment to your vows.
Both have there similarities, but I would imagine that caring for a spouse would be far more difficult as you live with your spouse and are with them 24/7, whereas most children do not live with the parent(s) they are caring for,(unless they make the mistake of moving in with them,)so they are able to get away and go back to their homes for a reprieve. With that being said I believe a spouse is more open to listening to their spouse about what should or shouldn't be done, over a parent who still believes they're in charge and don't want to be told by their child what they should or shouldn't be doing. But bottom line, regardless of who you are caring for, it is very hard work, and can take its toll on the caregiver if great care isn't taken to make sure that they make themselves a priority too.
For myself it was my brother that got Lewy's. I really believe there is no situation more "easy" than any other. And each situation is utterly unique. And dementia is a CRUCIBLE no matter who it hits, and the caregiver suffers along with the victim.
I think it would take several volumes of several books to try to comb out differences. Every situation is absolutely unique.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
On the one hand , we all expect our parents to die . However , During caregiving , I did not expect how selfish , unncooperative , and unappreciative a parent can be, as well as the entitlement without seeing how it impacts their adult child. Plus they don’t want to listen to their child .
Caring for and watching a spouse decline, I imagine still has to be emotionally worse . A spouse is your life partner , your other half .,
There is no respite for caring for a spouse. It's a 24/7/365, sleep depriving, high anxiety, mental and physical challenge. If I hired someone a few hours a day to give me some respite, when those hours were over, I had to plunge right back into it.
You have no financial responsibility for your parents' care. Whether your spouse is receiving home care, adult day care, or is in a care facility, you foot the bill.
Loss of freedom- your activities outside the house are curtailed. You become increasingly isolated.
The healthy spouse's anticipation of the loss of intimacy, shared plans and dreams, enjoyable experiences add to the grief they're already experiencing.
Perhaps the biggest difference in caring for a spouse vs a parent is the contractual commitment (marriage vows) to care for one's spouse. This can seem like a significant roadblock to proper care and can contribute to excessive stress, guilt, and the feeling of entrapment (inability to escape the situation). This commitment can make one feel OBLIGATED to care for his/her spouse without regard for either their own or their spouse's well-being. Being RESPONSIBLE for your spouse's care, however, can give you choices that consider both your spouse's and your own well-being. Considering placement of a spouse in a care facility when the carer can longer meet their spouse's needs IS caring for him/her and fulfills your commitment to your vows.
With that being said I believe a spouse is more open to listening to their spouse about what should or shouldn't be done, over a parent who still believes they're in charge and don't want to be told by their child what they should or shouldn't be doing.
But bottom line, regardless of who you are caring for, it is very hard work, and can take its toll on the caregiver if great care isn't taken to make sure that they make themselves a priority too.
Also, I agree with Alvadeer.
I really believe there is no situation more "easy" than any other. And each situation is utterly unique. And dementia is a CRUCIBLE no matter who it hits, and the caregiver suffers along with the victim.
I think it would take several volumes of several books to try to comb out differences.
Every situation is absolutely unique.