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My Mom is 92 and in pretty good shape for her age. She is fairly independent. She eats like a bird and then complains of feeling weak and tired all the time. Any suggestions for getting her to eat more? I live with her and am tired of pushing her to eat more.

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Try putting out some Haagen Dasz ice cream for dessert which has a ridiculous amount of calories in a scoop. Or make her a small milkshake with some, even better, as a treat.

Bring her a frozen pumpkin swirl coffee drink from Dunkin Donuts. One serving has 980 calories in it. Shocking, I know. 🙄

Bring home pot pies from Boston Market which are also calorie dense.

Kentucky Fried Chicken extra crispy is another ridiculously high calorie food.

Keep the portions SMALL, but the calories HIGH...thats the key with people who don't like to eat much.
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Summernole Sep 2023
Thank you. Good tips!
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Most elders eat less and less, and in fact I at 81 basically eat a meal a day. If you notice, most elders you see don't weigh a whole lot; I can't tell if that means that overweight keeps many shut ins when joints get more worn, or if it is just a fact that those morbidly overweight do not live as long.

At this age, why would you worry about how much and what your elder is eating? There is little likelihood at my age of 81 someone will write my obit opining that I died much too young. We all are headed the same place. I would think at 92 we should be able to eat whatever we like, personally.
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Summernole Sep 2023
Not very helpful advice when I know she needs substenance.
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First...
Keep in mind that she is probably not expending calories like you or I do.
After a few weeks in the hospital and fighting a UTI can change a person.
While she was "fairly independent" before that has probably changed.
She may continue to decline and if she does she will eat less and less as her body will not need the energy it did before.
To push her to eat more than her body can process can cause problems. the food may come up possibly causing aspiration pneumonia or it can become bound up in the intestins or colon. (either may result in the need for surgery if it is not naturally eliminated)
Offer many little "snacks"
High calorie foods that she likes.
Forget the notion of a "well balanced diet"
Let her eat what she wants and when she wants.
Place a little fridge near where she likes to sit. Keep it stocked with things she likes.

You made the comment that you "dont want her to wittle away"
She WILL stop eating and drinking. This is a part of End Of Life.
PLEASE do not have a feeding tube or IV's placed to provide fluids and nutrion that her body will not need. To do so can cause pain and discomfort.
(Check out Hospice Nurse Julie on YouTube she has a lot of information on artificial nutrition at EOL)
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Summernole Sep 2023
Very well stated comment, grandma1954. It is hard, as a caregiver and a loving daughter, to watch her eat so little but I think I am starting to understand that this is probably the way it is going to be. I've stocked up on nuts, fruit and ice cream for snacks so even if she only eats half a sandwhich at lunch I will have to accept that.
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After fighting the battle with my father and then my mother I came to realize that you can't force them to eat. At their age they are really able to eat what they want. My sister and I spent days and days searching for the perfect food, creating menus with pictures, trying anything we thought they would like. Cooking for hours without success. In the end I mourn the amount of time I spent fighting to find the perfect food. I am sorry to have made the remaining time with them so focused on something that in the end really only made us anxious and depressed.
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Summernole Sep 2023
Thank you for the advice. It seems to be the concensus on this site.
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My mom lost the initiative to feed herself and I had to feed her for many years, if I had followed the advice some people here tend to give I probably would have just assumed she was close to dying (in fact I was told she was close to dying when her BP dropped dramatically, that turned out to be because she no longer needed some of her medications). I struggled with knowing what was right and ethical and finally decided that as long as she willingly ate when fed I was doing the right thing; she never refused to open her mouth or swallow or spat the food out. All this is a long way to say that everyone is different and you know your own circumstances better than any of us.
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Try one of the meal replacement shakes. My mom likes the Cafe Latte ones at Sam's Club, name brand Premier. Also, who decides what she eats? Give her choices. Also, I buy my mom cookie-like bars, such as Nature Valley Peanut Butter and chocolate wafers. I also keep her stocked up on yogurt. You cannot force her to eat, but you can put tempting things around her and allow her free choice. My mom would rather drink a shake or eat a yogurt and a bar than eat a regular meal. Whatever you do, do not make it a battle because this is one area she can exercise control. And, she will.
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TakeFoxAway Sep 2023
Interesting - your mom would doesn't like to eat a regular meal. My mom gets 'freaked out' by the amount of food they give her, tries to give me half, I put it aside for her and then an hour later she's eating raisin toast with peanut butter.
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I would focus on healthy small meals and snacks. I'm not saying "no" to ice cream and shakes" but don't think that's the answer.
I'm a nurse that works with seniors. Appetite often dwindles.
They seem to enjoy shakes. Make them healthy. I made one with blueberries, threw some kale in,
and the patient never knew.
Hope this helps.
I would be attentive to the matter but not worry too much right now.
Bless you for all you do for your Mom.
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She is 92, so let her not eat if she doesn't want to. Or let her eat as many calorie-laden foods as she wants. It is her decision, not yours. You don't want to prolong her life if it will only get worse. Let her go.
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Summernole Sep 2023
My mom is super independant when she is not suffering from chronic UTIs. She feeds herself, bathes, gets dressed, takes showers and sometimes she will even drive. It is when these UTIs hit her that she really goes downhill and we can't seem to control them. I will not let her go when her normal life is good. I am fighting chronic UTIs.
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When the body begins to shut down, it will actually reject food.

My MIL has lived on 300-400 cals a day for 9 months now. She lost some weight in the beginning, but is (unbelievably!!) stable now. Goes to show--we probably eat way more than we really need.

Also, if she feels 'guilty' b/c one of the kids brings her food, she'll try to eat and then she vomits it all up.

Basically, she's living on BOOST. And 1-8 oz Diet Coke per day.
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heyjmk Sep 2023
Boost is terrible. Try Liquid Hope and healthy smoothies.
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My mom began to eat less, I found she lost the taste for things she traditionally really like and started to enjoy foods that normally she would not eat. Her preferences changed. She was a vegetarian so getting protein in her was difficult. So I tried new foods. Some worked well.

I also concentrated on high calorie and not necessary volume. So, it was about what she ate and drank, not how much. I tried to measure the calories since she would not eat three meals a day.

It is a challenge for sure. Good luck,
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