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Read 2 Samual 12:23, actually the whole story, verse 15 through 23 is interesting how David reacted to the death of his infant son.
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Reply to jwellsy
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Sam, first let me say I am sorry for your loss.

Perhaps you can expand a little on your comment about feeling worse?

Are you physically feeling worse? Mentally? Emotionally? All of the above? When you care for someone over a long period of time - like you did - it is perfectly normal to feel a loss of sense of purpose when that person passes, even if you were unhappy in your caregiving role and felt relief when that part of your life ended. I spent weeks after my mom died "re-training" myself, because the routines I had established were suddenly over. It takes time just to get into new habits.

I would suggest first to go to your PCP and have a complete physical. If you are like many of us here, you put your own health on the back burner while you took care of mom. Make sure there are no physical reasons for what you're feeling. If you still feel so out of sorts, then ask for a referral to a therapist. Don't be afraid or ashamed to ask for help, including medication to help you through this time.

Time is your friend here. Things will even out, and while it will never be the "same" doesn't mean you will always feel this way. Eventually your grief will fade, and you will be feeling more like yourself. Take care and be kind to yourself through this.
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Reply to notgoodenough
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You are grieving.
There is no timeline on grief.
For 4 years you were caring for someone
You had a "job" for 4 years and then in the blink of an eye that "job" is gone. As is the person that raised you. You do not indicate what your relationship was like but I am presuming you had a great mom or you would not feel this way. (that makes it even more difficult )

Please know that there is support for you. Many Churches or other houses of worship have Grief Groups. If mom was on Hospice the Hospice has a Bereavement Support Group or they have Counselors that you can talk to.
Or you can talk to a Therapist that will let you talk and help sort out your feelings.

One of the sayings I have posted by my computer is:
Grief never ends.
But it changes
It is a passage, not a place to stay
Grief is not a sign of weakness
nor a lack of faith
It is the price of love.

think of the last time you got a deep cut or other painful wound.
It hurt for a very long time.
It formed a scab. Sometimes that scab opened and the pain was fresh again.
As it healed you were left with a red scar that often hurt when you bumped or rubbed it. That hurt would dull over the years but sometimes when you least expected it it would hurt again.
This is what you are and will experience.
You will get through this...never over it but through it.
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Reply to Grandma1954
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If you are suffering real stress do know that when you invest every waking moment into care of someone, the loss is very shocking, very disorienting. The way you handle how you feel now will have a good deal to do with how long it may take for you to recovery from grief of this sad loss.
Do consider a few things for support. One would be grief counseling with a good COGNITIVE therapist. They help to walk us through our feelings and give us different ways of approaching what we feel to promote our healing. There are also grief support groups. Call your local council or agency on aging to ask about them in your area. If you are a person of faith see your pastor.
You are in early stages still of grief and mourning. Many feel a sort of guilt about being able to be happy, being able to be relieved that their loved one is no longer here suffering loss upon loss upon loss, and being relieved no longer to have to bear witness and suffer along with our loved one. It is very difficult to allow yourself to feel the ability to take a deep breath without fear.

I wish you the best and give you condolences. How lucky she was to have you and to have your love.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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