Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
✔
I acknowledge and authorize
✔
I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
✔
I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
Perhaps you can expand a little on your comment about feeling worse?
Are you physically feeling worse? Mentally? Emotionally? All of the above? When you care for someone over a long period of time - like you did - it is perfectly normal to feel a loss of sense of purpose when that person passes, even if you were unhappy in your caregiving role and felt relief when that part of your life ended. I spent weeks after my mom died "re-training" myself, because the routines I had established were suddenly over. It takes time just to get into new habits.
I would suggest first to go to your PCP and have a complete physical. If you are like many of us here, you put your own health on the back burner while you took care of mom. Make sure there are no physical reasons for what you're feeling. If you still feel so out of sorts, then ask for a referral to a therapist. Don't be afraid or ashamed to ask for help, including medication to help you through this time.
Time is your friend here. Things will even out, and while it will never be the "same" doesn't mean you will always feel this way. Eventually your grief will fade, and you will be feeling more like yourself. Take care and be kind to yourself through this.
You are grieving. There is no timeline on grief. For 4 years you were caring for someone You had a "job" for 4 years and then in the blink of an eye that "job" is gone. As is the person that raised you. You do not indicate what your relationship was like but I am presuming you had a great mom or you would not feel this way. (that makes it even more difficult )
Please know that there is support for you. Many Churches or other houses of worship have Grief Groups. If mom was on Hospice the Hospice has a Bereavement Support Group or they have Counselors that you can talk to. Or you can talk to a Therapist that will let you talk and help sort out your feelings.
One of the sayings I have posted by my computer is: Grief never ends. But it changes It is a passage, not a place to stay Grief is not a sign of weakness nor a lack of faith It is the price of love.
think of the last time you got a deep cut or other painful wound. It hurt for a very long time. It formed a scab. Sometimes that scab opened and the pain was fresh again. As it healed you were left with a red scar that often hurt when you bumped or rubbed it. That hurt would dull over the years but sometimes when you least expected it it would hurt again. This is what you are and will experience. You will get through this...never over it but through it.
If you are suffering real stress do know that when you invest every waking moment into care of someone, the loss is very shocking, very disorienting. The way you handle how you feel now will have a good deal to do with how long it may take for you to recovery from grief of this sad loss. Do consider a few things for support. One would be grief counseling with a good COGNITIVE therapist. They help to walk us through our feelings and give us different ways of approaching what we feel to promote our healing. There are also grief support groups. Call your local council or agency on aging to ask about them in your area. If you are a person of faith see your pastor. You are in early stages still of grief and mourning. Many feel a sort of guilt about being able to be happy, being able to be relieved that their loved one is no longer here suffering loss upon loss upon loss, and being relieved no longer to have to bear witness and suffer along with our loved one. It is very difficult to allow yourself to feel the ability to take a deep breath without fear.
I wish you the best and give you condolences. How lucky she was to have you and to have your love.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Perhaps you can expand a little on your comment about feeling worse?
Are you physically feeling worse? Mentally? Emotionally? All of the above? When you care for someone over a long period of time - like you did - it is perfectly normal to feel a loss of sense of purpose when that person passes, even if you were unhappy in your caregiving role and felt relief when that part of your life ended. I spent weeks after my mom died "re-training" myself, because the routines I had established were suddenly over. It takes time just to get into new habits.
I would suggest first to go to your PCP and have a complete physical. If you are like many of us here, you put your own health on the back burner while you took care of mom. Make sure there are no physical reasons for what you're feeling. If you still feel so out of sorts, then ask for a referral to a therapist. Don't be afraid or ashamed to ask for help, including medication to help you through this time.
Time is your friend here. Things will even out, and while it will never be the "same" doesn't mean you will always feel this way. Eventually your grief will fade, and you will be feeling more like yourself. Take care and be kind to yourself through this.
There is no timeline on grief.
For 4 years you were caring for someone
You had a "job" for 4 years and then in the blink of an eye that "job" is gone. As is the person that raised you. You do not indicate what your relationship was like but I am presuming you had a great mom or you would not feel this way. (that makes it even more difficult )
Please know that there is support for you. Many Churches or other houses of worship have Grief Groups. If mom was on Hospice the Hospice has a Bereavement Support Group or they have Counselors that you can talk to.
Or you can talk to a Therapist that will let you talk and help sort out your feelings.
One of the sayings I have posted by my computer is:
Grief never ends.
But it changes
It is a passage, not a place to stay
Grief is not a sign of weakness
nor a lack of faith
It is the price of love.
think of the last time you got a deep cut or other painful wound.
It hurt for a very long time.
It formed a scab. Sometimes that scab opened and the pain was fresh again.
As it healed you were left with a red scar that often hurt when you bumped or rubbed it. That hurt would dull over the years but sometimes when you least expected it it would hurt again.
This is what you are and will experience.
You will get through this...never over it but through it.
Do consider a few things for support. One would be grief counseling with a good COGNITIVE therapist. They help to walk us through our feelings and give us different ways of approaching what we feel to promote our healing. There are also grief support groups. Call your local council or agency on aging to ask about them in your area. If you are a person of faith see your pastor.
You are in early stages still of grief and mourning. Many feel a sort of guilt about being able to be happy, being able to be relieved that their loved one is no longer here suffering loss upon loss upon loss, and being relieved no longer to have to bear witness and suffer along with our loved one. It is very difficult to allow yourself to feel the ability to take a deep breath without fear.
I wish you the best and give you condolences. How lucky she was to have you and to have your love.