My husband's cousin lives with us. I did not know him well before he moved in so it is difficult to discuss certain issues. His personal hygiene is horrible. He bathes every 3rd day and doesn't always put on clean clothes or use a washcloth. But I also think he is experiencing incontinence. So, he has his own leather chair in the family room but suddenly has decided he wants to sit on the other couch and chairs. They are leather but it means that i have to wash them down every morning or they smell like poop. My husband isn't direct enough so cousin isn't getting the hint. We have talked to him about the expectation that he shower daily and put on clean clothes but he can be very stubborn. ideas please?
A daily shower wouldn't necessarily be needed if he could clean up with a washcloth between times. Then, every other day or even what he's doing would be okay. But apparently he either doesn't see this need or can't understand it. This makes particular sense if he is becoming incontinent.
A doctor may be the best route if he won't listen to your husband or if he may have dementia.
We'd love an update to see how you are doing.
Carol
It took time for my Dad to get use to a caregiver helping him with a shower, he would refuse someone who was only in their 20's or 30's, prefer someone older. One older caregiver told Dad she raised a house full of boys so there isn't anything she hadn't seen before :)
Or you could buy what is called hospital blue-sheets to put down on the sofa and chairs. They are disposable. That would be a hint for Cousin, too. To experience with these blue sheets, you can buy puppy blue sheets at the local pet store to try them out. If that works, some companies on-line sell "seconds" which means the blue sheet is brand new and still works, but it wasn't cut correctly, etc.
If that does not work i think you just have to bite the bullet and cover all your chairs.
As people age it becomes very difficult to attend to personal hygiene. Joints get stiff and painful and it is very difficult to reach around and do a decent job after pooping.
Have you considered installing a bidet? i know that subject is source of great hilarity in this country but it can be a God send.
I'd start by trying to figure out what's going on with him. Is he just a person with poor hygiene or is he not able to comprehend that he's soiling the furniture, because if he isn't aware or has become incontinent, he may need support in insisting that he go with disposal underwear.
There are ways to go about that, but he has to be able to change disposable underwear and clean up after himself. He may not be able to do that and that's why he is smelling and messing things up. I'm not sure there are many people who are able to handle their own hygiene needs if they are incontinent due to mental reasons. Do you have the authority to talk to his doctor?
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