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My mother was diagnosed with AZ about 5 years ago. She lives in her own home but my brother moved in about 1.5 years ago and he serves as the primary caregiver. I live in another state. Earlier this year, her primary care physician admitted her to the hospital for about 2 weeks for the leg sores. Once she was released, we asked that she be sent to a nursing facility because Mom had previously refused to allow us to care for her sores. She stayed in the nursing facility about 3 weeks until the sores were almost entirely healed. Currently, a wound care nurse comes to the house once a week to change Mom's dressing. My brother and I have been shown how to change the dressing the other days. My Mom sometimes argues with the nurse, but almost always argues with me or my brother, sometimes refusing to let us change the dressing or reapply it if she's taken it off. Also, she is often argumentative re attending doctor appointments, changing her wound dressings, taking her blood pressure and Eliquis medications, etc. I'm hoping others have encountered similar issues and might have suggestions for resolving them.

Yes, it's exhausting caring for someone who is resistant to everything you do for them, as my husband is. He has vascular dementia, which is a little different. It is not a progressive disease, but instead, his mental ability is actually improving, in very small degrees, over time. His brain damage was caused by a stroke 10 years ago.

From my experience, here are some suggestions;

Find a doctor who makes house calls. As our population is aging, and more people are cared for in their homes, that is a service which is becoming more popular. Ask her insurance company for some providers in her area.

With dementia, is helps to have a very consistent schedule and routine!
Dressing wounds, toileting, eating, bathing, and taking pills, with time in between for napping, or entertainment, even if that means watching tv, the same shows at the same time. Doing all tasks regularly will help her to adjust and know to expect it (sort of).

And don't ask. Just tell her "this is what we're doing now" and do it.

Ask the doctor to prescribe something to calm her agitation. If the first medication does not have good results, try something different. Everyone responds differently to medications. It may take a while to find what is effective for her.

Finally, recognize when she can no longer be cared for at home by family. Start now by touring nearby care facilities. Depending on her needs, that may be memory care, or skilled nursing homes. They will have a director of admissions who will be happy to meet with you, answer questions and give a tour. Then, when it is time for your mother to transition to a skilled care home, you will be ready and feel more comfortable, knowing what the place will be like.
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Reply to CaringWifeAZ
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If the dressings arevon her legs, have you tried long crew socks. You cut off the foot and it makes a stretchy sleeve you can slip over the bandages.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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It sounds like mom needs to be in a facility that can better manage her care.
This is not saying your brother is not doing a good job but it sounds like mom is more cooperative with facility staff. Maybe because some "older people" tend to follow directions better if it comes from a "professional".
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Reply to Grandma1954
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When a parent with dementia becomes too uncooperative with being cared for by their children , it’s time to have them live in a facility . This is what my mother’s doctor told me . A parent will see their adult child as a child again and want to be in charge . Mom needs to be taken care of by NON family .

In the meantime , a dementia antistrip suit may prevent her from removing her dressings . Perhaps a med is needed to calm her down as well .
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Reply to waytomisery
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AlvaDeer Dec 30, 2024
I absolutely agree with the above.
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