I did everything I could as the last year some homeless squatter hoard woman had preyed upon him. I reported it to APS, filed a vulnerable adult protection order, she showed up on zoom five times, with delusions about being our family. My father became violent, angry, hostile, disoriented to person place or time. He also refused to bathe, toilet, medicate, and does not respond to anyone for last 2 months, including the predator, APS, the police, judges, etc. I suspect this woman harasses him multiple times by internet or phone texting as he does not remember things day to day after I let things expire after the 4th hearing where my dad refuses to attend, and the predator shows up. He does not remember anything from a few minutes back, and needs constant reminders via text message to do things. Every once in a while I would get a nasty text from him that I believe the predator would pressure him to say. The last one, while I had a concussion and my teenager sat in the hospital, I got a text saying "I don't need you in my life, please butt out."
I have two teenagers, work in hospice, and respected that wish as we all ended up very sick and in the hospital for our own health issues. Since my dad ignored everyone, including the predator (and everyone else after actions I had taken to set boundaries with the predator) I resigned myself to waiting for a judge to ask me to act as guardian. This person preys on estates, not leaving the estate, then filling the whole house up like a goodwill, then waiting to get evicted for years as she did at the last estate. Then I got a call from APS and the coroner's office my father took his own life a couple of weeks back by hanging himself.
I only feel relief as I don't have to herd him into memory care, get him to doctors, wait for more crisis, wait for him to die of a bed sore or incontinence or UTI for the next 3-5 years or watch him get turned into a cash cow vegetable for the medical community. So go ahead, share your opinion of this. I have had a horrible couple of days where I had to go through his dusty, moldy house finding clue after clue that shows his rapid decline, alone. I don't have the password to his phone, and so may only imagine what this predator filled his head with the last few weeks after I let the protection order expire.
He used to take meticulous notes of his life, health, bills, etc., but last few months he took a rapid decline off the deep end. I also felt extremely annoyed they found him a couple of weeks past the point that his brain may get analyzed for dementia, and so no one will ever know instead just left to our own perceptions. I feel grateful every day the only thing the hoarder seemed to get out of him involves getting him to pay for her $300 per month storage unit filled with more hoard. Prior to that it appears she forged a bunch of small chump change checks from the last estate, and used my dad as the proxy for money laundering.
Talk about having one's a** handed to oneself.
I'm so sorry for this tragic loss.
I am so sorry for your loss but also understand that level of relief that it is over now and you can move forward with your life. You are not responsible in any way for what happened.
Predators are vile.
A very heartbreaking and bittersweet relief. Focus on earlier times and why
you were protective. The downward spiral was not your fault, and out of your control.
I'm deeply sorry for your terrible experience and the loss of your Dad.
I pray that you and your sons are feeling better and can move forward with your lives. May The Lord give you strength, guidance and comfort during this new season in life.
Great big warm hug!
Given the circumstances I might be inclined to turn his phone over to the police and have them look into the possibility that this person that was texting him may have had some influence in causing him to commit suicide. If he had never before talked of harming himself it seems unusual he may have been coerced (hounded, encouraged whatever words you want to use)
My heart goes out to you. Please take care of yourself. Whether Lewy's, mental illness, or a combination, there is nothing whatsoever you could have done about this other than those things you tried to manage. Absolutely nothing.
This is over. Dad is at peace. Please, as soon as you can settle what you HAVE to, move on with life knowing he is at rest now. People always come up with some semantic nonsense about how we should not use the word "committed" in cases of suicide. The truth is that your father was desperate to leave this life, and he left it, and I hope you will feel nothing so much as relief for him forever.
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