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It is a bit of a hardship to have him not sleep the night before, pack and schlep bags then try to walk to our transportation. Maybe it isn't worth it? Once settled, it promises to be a lovely spot for 6 days.
Speaking from experience, if you decide to go, add a few extra days and go slow. My mom needed a day in the middle to just stay in the hotel and rest. During the trip take extra breaks. May need to start later in the day to not feel rushed or take a longer nap break to stop and take a breather. Dont feel bad cancelling plans if either of you don't feel like doing it. Enjoying the time together is better than getting one extra "activity" in.
Also, just a tip. If you want to sightseeing, we used tours by locals. It was just us and a tour guide in their car. So stress free being able to see the sights and not have to be rushed. You can decided where you go. And, you can find a bathroom whenever you need to without feeling inconvenience.
It could be wonderful….or it could be a nightmare. The fact that you are asking means maybe you are anticipating the latter? I think it depends on what kind of shape YOU are in.
Do you have a Plan B for everything?
The sleepless night before will be harder on you than him; he’ll sleep on the plane. But are you physically strong enough to do absolutely everything if it turns out to be too much for him? Do you have the energy to do ALL the planning and ALL the execution of every aspect of the trip? If so, go, and have a wonderful birthday trip! If not, better not.
I think that would be a big no. Traveling is not easy and so much can go wrong and the stress would be immense, to me. We stopped doing long car rides with my mom a few years ago cuz it was just too much. Incontinence. Confusion. No vacation for me and my hubby dealing with all that.
If you feel it is worth it, then it is. I hope you have a lovely time. Let us know how it went and what went well and what didn’t. Some tips would be helpful for those contemplating similar traveling.
I personally would cancel if we are talking what I would do. The jet leg isn’t going to help anything.
Maybe go to California coast instead? I’d suggest Florida keys but not sure how they are doing right now with these hurricanes.
I don’t know where you live, but it took us a long time to get to Honolulu. 3.5 hours to Salt Lake City and then 7 hours to HNL.
Is he going to do Ok for 7-10 hours of flight time with no where to land when you are over the ocean?
Also, my 65 year old uncle had a kidney stone in Hawaii and he didn’t want to get it out there, so it was a turn around long flight for him and then straight to the ER to take care of that.
I’ve been to Hawaii twice . We flew from Philadelphia , changed airplane in Phoenix first time , Dallas the second time . Personally I would not want to deal with incontinence on those long flights . I wouldn’t go at 90 years old either but that’s me . It’s not the easiest trip .
I think I'd extend the 6 days to 12. If you're going to take such a trip with all the travel aggravation, at least make it a nice 2 week one instead of a short 1 week trip! You'll feel less rushed that way and give yourselves longer to recoup between flights.
My Mom is 95 and has some urine incontinence. I've lately only been flying her to FL from MN and back (and I'm 65) -- on direct flights only. A few weeks ago on the flight down we hit turbulence early into the flight so that no one was allowed to get up for most of the 3-hr flight. My Mom didn't understand that she couldn't get up to go to the bathroom and decided to create drama by insisting loudly that she had to have a BM. I told her it didn't matter (cuz I knew it wasn't true) that I was once yelled at by crew for getting up for the bathroom during a similar circumstance (true). She suddenly didn't have to go...
And those airline bathrooms... only fit 1 person no matter what, so if your husband has any issues in there (like figuring out how to unlock the door, etc) you may be waiting outside of it for a while.
You can order wheelchair service from the airport entrance to the gate and even onto the plane if you ask for this (in advance). You can rent the baggage carts for schlepping luggage. And do the same when you land in Hawaii. It is a long flight... once he's there will you have help with him? It's really up to you to decide what you think you are willing and able to do.
I couldn't face all this, but that is ME. You know hubby best, and know your own ability to adapt and handle things without a whole lot of fretting and anxiety. For me vacation would have to be very restful for us both. I think if I were planning long or involved trips I might attempt them alone, with a girlfriend. So basically this is your own choice. That you are thinking about this and measuring the pros and cons is great. That's about the best you can do. I wish you the best of luck.
The airlines are great at helping. Request wheelchair assistance. They will take you and your husband on a cart from check in to the gate. You will get through security much faster and you won't have to rush. Do get to the airport the full 2 hours before though. Get disposable incontinence underwear. Get him used to wearing it now. Even encourage him to pee in it so that he knows how well they work and he won't try to rush to the bathroom if he is comfortable knowing that they won't leak. But even with that pack a few gallon zipper bags and an extra change of clothes as well as a few extra disposable underwear. If he needs to he can change. There are "Family restrooms" so you can help if you need to.
While it may be an expense if you live more than 2 hours from the airport you might want to think about getting a hotel near the airport so that you won't have to rush. Most of those hotels will provide transportation to the hotel and if you drive your car to the hotel they may allow you to park for the duration of your trip. This is an even better suggestion if you have an early morning flight.
Side note..I hope you have trip insurance just in case you do have to cancel at the last minute.
Hire help to manage the hard parts. You want to arrive safely. Have him wear pull-ups for protection so he doesn’t risk a fall by hurrying to the bathroom. Start wearing them now so he can have confidence they will work. Skip any walking by utilizing the services the airport provides. Go by yourself to check it all out so you are familiar before hand.
Are there other issues? You might want to update your bio. It is all about your parents and nothing about not DH. I hope you have a wonderful time.
You could set up ahead of time with the airline for a wheelchair to get him from door , through security to airplane. Then when you land , wheelchair to baggage claim and then exit door . But then you still have to get to your final destination .
You don’t mention if your husband has dementia or not . With dementia this could be a very stressful trip .
How about a more local trip , if he thinks it’s too stressful ?
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Dont feel bad cancelling plans if either of you don't feel like doing it. Enjoying the time together is better than getting one extra "activity" in.
Also, just a tip. If you want to sightseeing, we used tours by locals. It was just us and a tour guide in their car. So stress free being able to see the sights and not have to be rushed. You can decided where you go. And, you can find a bathroom whenever you need to without feeling inconvenience.
I think it depends on what kind of shape YOU are in.
Do you have a Plan B for everything?
The sleepless night before will be harder on you than him; he’ll sleep on the plane. But are you physically strong enough to do absolutely everything if it turns out to be too much for him? Do you have the energy to do ALL the planning and ALL the execution of every aspect of the trip? If so, go, and have a wonderful birthday trip! If not, better not.
BTW, what does your husband say about it all?
Hope it all works out.
Maybe go to California coast instead? I’d suggest Florida keys but not sure how they are doing right now with these hurricanes.
I don’t know where you live, but it took us a long time to get to Honolulu. 3.5 hours to Salt Lake City and then 7 hours to HNL.
Is he going to do Ok for 7-10 hours of flight time with no where to land when you are over the ocean?
Also, my 65 year old uncle had a kidney stone in Hawaii and he didn’t want to get it out there, so it was a turn around long flight for him and then straight to the ER to take care of that.
And those airline bathrooms... only fit 1 person no matter what, so if your husband has any issues in there (like figuring out how to unlock the door, etc) you may be waiting outside of it for a while.
You can order wheelchair service from the airport entrance to the gate and even onto the plane if you ask for this (in advance). You can rent the baggage carts for schlepping luggage. And do the same when you land in Hawaii. It is a long flight... once he's there will you have help with him? It's really up to you to decide what you think you are willing and able to do.
So basically this is your own choice. That you are thinking about this and measuring the pros and cons is great. That's about the best you can do.
I wish you the best of luck.
Keep traveling as long as you can - when my husband and I see the over 90's out and about - we hope to be them some day.
They will take you and your husband on a cart from check in to the gate. You will get through security much faster and you won't have to rush.
Do get to the airport the full 2 hours before though.
Get disposable incontinence underwear. Get him used to wearing it now. Even encourage him to pee in it so that he knows how well they work and he won't try to rush to the bathroom if he is comfortable knowing that they won't leak.
But even with that pack a few gallon zipper bags and an extra change of clothes as well as a few extra disposable underwear. If he needs to he can change. There are "Family restrooms" so you can help if you need to.
While it may be an expense if you live more than 2 hours from the airport you might want to think about getting a hotel near the airport so that you won't have to rush. Most of those hotels will provide transportation to the hotel and if you drive your car to the hotel they may allow you to park for the duration of your trip.
This is an even better suggestion if you have an early morning flight.
Side note..I hope you have trip insurance just in case you do have to cancel at the last minute.
Have him wear pull-ups for protection so he doesn’t risk a fall by hurrying to the bathroom. Start wearing them now so he can have confidence they will work.
Skip any walking by utilizing the services the airport provides. Go by yourself to check it all out so you are familiar before hand.
Are there other issues?
You might want to update your bio. It is all about your parents and nothing about not DH. I hope you have a wonderful time.
You don’t mention if your husband has dementia or not . With dementia this could be a very stressful trip .
How about a more local trip , if he thinks it’s too stressful ?