My husband can remember what highway we drove on 20 years ago but can't remember for 24 hours that I need to pick up a custom piece of jewelry we had made. He still hasn't remembered that we had that conversation.
Last Friday evening we went out to dinner with friends, then played games at our home. At some point, my DH asked a question about the game and I thought I answered appropriately. However, he either didn't hear me, or didn't like the answer. He started saying, "It's not a hard question." He repeated that phrase 3x. But the absolute hatred/anger displayed on his face frightened me a little (and embarassed me because it was in front of my friends). I kept telling him, "stop talking" but he just kept harping on the same question. After he calmed down a bit, he finally picked up the instructions for the game, found the answer and proclaimed with much bravado that he was "right" (not in so many words). I asked him why he didn't do that in the first place and he said he didn't want to interrupt the game (which he then did by looking it up).
He has some mental health issues in his family; his older brother was a hoarder/lived in squallor (sp?), his younger sister has OCD, and other issues, his mother had dementia/alzheimers although she was never formally diagnosed because her doctor was an idiot and we lived 1200 miles away. He is either showing some sort of mental health issue (narcissist), a stroke, or just lashing out because of his own health issues. We have been married 35+ years and has never once apologized for hurting my feelings. I have come to accept that he never will own his actions. He has never taken responsibility for anything he says.
His recent behavior and forgetfulness is making me start to wonder if he is starting down the road of dementia/alzheimers. He is 67 years old but with the family history... He also doesn't sleep at night. But it's nothing for him to fall asleep after breakfast and then take a "lay down in bed nap" in the afternoon for 2 hours.
I am going to seek out a therapist to help me make some sense of what is going on. But not sure if anyone can enlighten me on early stages or what else might be going on. We saw our general physician in January and I don't think anything jumped out during that visit.
TIA
Make sure your husband has labs done. There are so many physical things that can affect the mind. Low potassium for one, B12 for another and Thyroid.
You will soon, if you say "you forgot".....hear from him "Well let me tell you all the things that YOU forget ALL THE TIME". This gaslighting and turning things back on you to stop you bringing up something is also a common symptom.
Please keep a carefully hidden diary now.
It is important to collect data.
He should perhaps be checked for a UTI but I am thinking you are correct in your suspicions. I am terribly sorry if you are.
Are you his POA? Even if not you ARE his wife.
When you have a few more things you should make an appointment to speak with your husband's doctor. He can't necessarily share a lot with YOU but it is important he has these things clearly written out. He should be able to take it from there.
If you have other family member you can trust as in daughter or son, do speak with him/her. And when time to approach hubby to suggest testing they should be with you, it should be a normal GOOD day, no part of an argument which is easily negated.
I hope you will update us as you go.
I hope you will begin to read and to watch Teepa Snow.
I will refer you to a book Lealonnie here referred me to. Written by a Pastor some time ago it describes his descent into dementia step by step (including sleep disturbanes, and when he could no longer write his wife took over. He was a very religious man and I am a non-believer; just letting you know there is perhaps more talk about God than you may love as a non-believer, but it is a book that should be read by ANYONE with suspicions about themselves or loved ones.
Book is: My Journey into Alzheimer's Disease by Robert Davis
I got my copy very inespensively used on Amazon. Wouldn't give it up!