Assistant living facilities will not take him because of felony charges. Only income is SSI, and the VA want family members to sign documents to transfer him to a nursing home out of state.
He clearly wants to leave, has tried, wants to be independent, but has no place to go. He wants to go to a shelter, but because of dementia he may be unsafe, family lives is out of state
please help!
How long has your brother been homeless? If it was a long time, he is trying to adjust to living under a roof and that is a huge challenge for him.
I would encourage you to try and help him accept care. Because he is obviously really out of it or they would let him leave. Taking away someone's right to autonomy is NEVER taken lightly.
If you can get him closer to family, then you can assess his true condition.
Remember though, felons do not get public assistance. What he is getting is VA and that is his only option for help.
And remember that if the felony charges go ahead, neither of you may have any choice about where he is sent.
I am 69 years old, the youngest sibling, and have 3 older brothers. The youngest brother is 73 years old and has been diagnosed with Dementia/ ALZHEIMERS, He is homeless and wants to be independent. I am struggling with having placed in a nursing home. He is currently been held against his well at the Veterans Administration medical in New York City. They want documents to be filled out so he can be transferred to out of state to a nursing home. I don’t know what to do.. please help !
"Homeless" and "wants to be independent" is an oxymoron, OP. A homeless person with dementia/Alzheimer's is not capable of being independent in the first place, never mind that he's homeless! Are you planning to take him in and care for his myriad issues? If not, stop saying "he's being held against his will by the VA" and count your blessings. Your brother is fortunate that he's being cared for by the VA and safe, not out on the streets with dementia and homeless. How well do you think he'd do in a shelter???????? Even though 'family lives out of state', you can STILL take him into your home if you so desire, and that would solve his problems and yours, too. If you don't intend to do that, then leave him be at the VA & allow them to transfer him to a Skilled Nursing Facility where he'll be safe & cared for.
Since he has dementia, he is not competent to make huge decisions like where he should live anymore. If the VA thinks he needs a nursing home, I would follow their lead. He'll get taken care of and he'll have to be put on medicaid to pay for his stay.
Sorry he is not feeling like this is a good decision but most people don't want a nursing home but it can be the only reasonable solution for the person to be SAFE which has to be your number one priority.
If your family is not willing to take him in then I would allow the VA to handle the situation. I don't know why they are asking family members to sign for him. I would not sign anything without POA. I would allow them to be his guardian. I would also ask that he be closer to family. Really, he is better off than being on the streets.
Dementia causes people to steadily lose their abilities of memory, logic, reason and empathy. It's *very common* that they have wild delusions which can lead them to hurt others. Sorry... he needs to be in a facility for everyone's sake.
If the issue is that the only place available is out of state and therefore far from family, I would spend energy working on moving him closer rather than trying to give "independence" to someone who clearly should no longer be able to have it.
serious and sound from your brief description, are quite complicated.
You state that “he is being held by the VA against his will”.
Starting with what sounds as though he’s been DIAGNOSED with dementia, his “will” becomes a far less important consideration than his SAFETY.
IF he has dementia, it is always PROGRESSIVE, so his ability to remain independent will become less and less realistic.
Has any family member attempted to assume LEGAL RESPONSIBILITY for his care? That could be in the form of a POA or guardianship or perhaps another sort of documentation that might help you access a VA representative assigned to his case.
The felony. Is any substance abuse part of his profile?
ALMOST EVERYONE placed in residential care “clearly wants to leave”. His desire or intention to leave may have much less importance than his safety and protection.
As “out of state” family, you need to find out exactly what his circumstances are, and what is really happening with his case.
Listen to what he says he wants, but VERIFY that what he is SAYING is accurately describing what is being done to help him.
This is not a case of “let’s do this right now because he says it’s what he wants”. Think of his care as something that needs to be planned with all the information on the table.
He served his country. He deserves the best situation you can help him find.
Best of luck to you all.