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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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There are different kinds of caregiving. You may need someone to help you with your finances (bill paying, taxes, retirement/bank accounts), give you a ride to appointments, advocate for you in the hospital and/or fill your pill container. I have 3 children and they are the ones I would most trust to do these things. Then there is the more hands on caregiving (bathing, help in the bathroom) and dealing with progressing dementia and/or increased medical needs. I would not want my children to have to do this.
My preparations include: - I have been diligent about saving for retirement and for my future care needs. - I have an appointment this Friday with an attorney to discuss planning documents. I plan to name my kids as POA and Executor and back-ups. I don’t know what I would do if I didn’t have kids. I have 8 siblings but we are not close. - Slowly working to reduce my belongings; hope to progress faster after I retire. - I’ve been looking at listings for 55+ communities to downsize to hoping to find a smaller one story home with no stairs. (I thought about a “Golden Girls” arrangement, but roommates can be tough and there are still stairs, upkeep and maintenance to deal with) After that, it will depend on my physical and mental health.
We don’t plan to count on anyone else to meet our needs in old age. We WILL need a family member or other trusted person to manage/administrate the plans we have made if we are unable.
We have our important legal documents including DPOA, HCPOA, HIPPA designations, living wills and a trust and we periodically update them. We both bought LTC policies to mitigate financial stress and provide financial protection if one of us needs AL or SNF care before the other. Eventually we will probably sell our house and move to a 50+ community or buy into a continuing care facility if we can afford it. We will make our last wishes known including pre-paying for our final resting place (plots only). We are working on getting rid of “stuff” except for things we really like, or need or don’t want to have to buy again. I have four categories: Like, Need, Donate, Trash. We will plan on having DNR orders if very ill or frail. Our goal is to make it easy for our designated person to do what they need to do, have the funding to do it, and not have to make a lot of decisions.
Speaking as an American, all the of the above can go up in smoke if our “leaders” mess with Social Security, Medicare, anti-fraud watch-dog agencies, consumer protections and the economy in general. If those programs and savings are eviscerated, the best planning may be moot.
As a pretty healthy 74 yr old with one child who lives 12 hrs away…I started planning years ago. I have a will, medical directive and will soon finish my poa paperwork. I set up a legacy box with all important papers in a 3 ring binder. It includes finances, medical, insurances even accounts to close etc. I have downsized my possessions quite a bit. I have labeled estate jewelry as to value. My savings should manage my healthcare needs for 20 years. This is the best I could do..
In addition to the LTC policy (we bought it at age 50 cheaper the earlier you buy it) we have a will, poa, trust set up for our adult kids , living will , and made sure to include who can access our online accounts and passwords and do not allow feeding tube etc if we have dementia or alzheimers! I've tried to make it as easy as possible on my family. Also have written out funeral wishes. Choose not to prepay the funeral but money set aside for that
Well, right now I am mentally preparing to not live in a democratic intentioned country any longer ... and hoping to have my social security which is my main / only source of income.
I try to focus on what I can and cannot do.
What I can do ______________________________________
* Stay as PRESENT in real time as much as I am aware to do so (train my brain)
* Be grateful that I am able to walk ... move, exercise
* I am getting ready to go to the gym (that I can still afford)
* For the last 2+ years, I join in / listen to Rick Hanson, Ph.D., Brain functioning/ plasticity expert (he wrote Buddha Brain), and Buddhist scholar Wed nights at 5:45pm Zoom.
* I am protesting in the streets (April 5 - huge national protest) as well as be aware of limiting the amount of 'news' and 'reality' I can handle (I watch Rachel Maddow and Lawrence O'Donnell (MSNBC)
It is the best I can do right now. Future tripping will not serve me nor my mental health / day-to-day functioning / equanimity.
Even if I wanted to move to another country ... if I still have my social security, where would / could I go? Canada would be my preference although that doesn't seem like a possibility now.
All the advice here is super caring and helpful, as always. One other suggestion: Consider getting a medical alert device BEFORE you need it. There are great options these days beyond just those old, ugly pendants. NY Times/Wirecutter just updated their industry review, and they are a great unbiased source. Hope you find this helpful: https://www.nytimes.com/wirecutter/reviews/the-best-medical-alert-systems/
Legal planning is all fabulous but don’t overlook day to day: Update &/or renovate your home to be more user friendly. Like grab bars properly installed in your shower & toilet areas. Have your tub replaced and renovate the wet zone to instead have a no-rise walk in shower that you can sit down in and bathe/shower in. Double shower head. Limit the amount of containers in the shower and lavabo areas. If you have a door to just your toilet area, remove the door.
Better lighting throughout your home and property; have exit paths with some type of dusk to dawn lighting sources both inside the house and the yard. All that crap in upper shelves, get someone to help you get that stuff down, go thru and jettison or gift what you don’t use and only have things you actually use on shelves you can truly reach. If the empty space bothers you visually, then place whatever dust collectors ya can’t part with in the space. Remove rugs or anything else that can slide around when walked upon. Or get really good grippy for your type of flooring rug pads cut to fit
Buy shoes that actually are supportive and non slip for daily wear. Shoes that you 101% all on your own can take off & on.
Take care of your skin! It’s not too late to moisturize every day to protect it.
I just wanna know where the arsenic pill is. I have the will, I’ve made the heirloom designations. I try to stayout of debt. I’ve been a renter all my life so I don’t have assets that many others are referring to. I have made foolish decisions in my life so I’ve got virtually nothing. I’m saving to buy my own place, a mobile home probably, but I’m 63 and have back issues so I don’t know how long I will be able to continue to work. I I am officially learning bookkeeping so I can work with my mind instead of my body, but I’m catching myself being forgetful over simple things which has got me paranoid about pursuing this line of work. I do have a pension, but it’s not enough to cover living expenses to live, by myself. I’m sure that I will need a roommate, and then have the fun of hoping you can trust them not to steal, to be clean, and so forth. I don’t have my funeral arrangements taken care of so that’s something else I have to save for. It’s the most horrible, feeling looking back and seeing where you had your opportunities and you blew it. I’m smart and I blew it anyway. I’ve got no excuses.
No, I don’t want my children to take care of me when I get to the point of feebleness. I was a caregiver for seven year for two people with many health problems, dementia and Parkinson’s and such. As one person said, you never know what the future holds.
I liked what Dr. Laura said “life is what happens while you’re making plans.” We do the best we can and we trust God to be there for us.
And not to get too political, but when you refer to the chainsaw guy and king Donald, they have both said repeatedly there will be no cuts to Medicare or Social Security. That’s all I’ll say. I don’t wanna get any huge arguments with anyone we all have our own opinion. We’re just here on this forum to support each other.
i’m forcing myself to be positive because there’s nothing else I can do. I’m just expressing a little depression and fear here because at least this is a place where you can be honest about your feelings without judgment. And if you were to talk to me to cheer me up, I would get cheered up and I would be happy and I’d be positive and looking forward to the future again after our conversation. but I also know myself that later on, I will find myself back in the same place Worrying about the future. You don’t talk to people face-to-face about stuff like this because they get awkward and don’t know what to say, so you get the “it’ll be OK, you’ll work something out” or maybe get a suggestion here or there, and then they’re looking around for somebody else to talk to that has more pleasant conversation to make. It’s just the way it is.
I guess I’m a little angry too. I’m angry at myself mostly. Change my attitude. Yeah OK that puts money on the table.
I have to ignore all that though, you have to just keep on doing what you can do every day.
Sorry for the downer and thanks for listening. I’ll be more positive tomorrow.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
My preparations include:
- I have been diligent about saving for retirement and for my future care needs.
- I have an appointment this Friday with an attorney to discuss planning documents. I plan to name my kids as POA and Executor and back-ups. I don’t know what I would do if I didn’t have kids. I have 8 siblings but we are not close.
- Slowly working to reduce my belongings; hope to progress faster after I retire.
- I’ve been looking at listings for 55+ communities to downsize to hoping to find a smaller one story home with no stairs. (I thought about a “Golden Girls” arrangement, but roommates can be tough and there are still stairs, upkeep and maintenance to deal with) After that, it will depend on my physical and mental health.
We have our important legal documents including DPOA, HCPOA, HIPPA designations, living wills and a trust and we periodically update them. We both bought LTC policies to mitigate financial stress and provide financial protection if one of us needs AL or SNF care before the other. Eventually we will probably sell our house and move to a 50+ community or buy into a continuing care facility if we can afford it. We will make our last wishes known including pre-paying for our final resting place (plots only). We are working on getting rid of “stuff” except for things we really like, or need or don’t want to have to buy again. I have four categories: Like, Need, Donate, Trash. We will plan on having DNR orders if very ill or frail. Our goal is to make it easy for our designated person to do what they need to do, have the funding to do it, and not have to make a lot of decisions.
Speaking as an American, all the of the above can go up in smoke if our “leaders” mess with Social Security, Medicare, anti-fraud watch-dog agencies, consumer protections and the economy in general. If those programs and savings are eviscerated, the best planning may be moot.
I try to focus on what I can and cannot do.
What I can do ______________________________________
* Stay as PRESENT in real time as much as I am aware to do so (train my brain)
* Be grateful that I am able to walk ... move, exercise
* I am getting ready to go to the gym (that I can still afford)
* For the last 2+ years, I join in / listen to Rick Hanson, Ph.D., Brain functioning/ plasticity expert (he wrote Buddha Brain), and Buddhist scholar Wed nights at 5:45pm Zoom.
* I am protesting in the streets (April 5 - huge national protest) as well as be aware of limiting the amount of 'news' and 'reality' I can handle (I watch Rachel Maddow and Lawrence O'Donnell (MSNBC)
It is the best I can do right now. Future tripping will not serve me nor my mental health / day-to-day functioning / equanimity.
Even if I wanted to move to another country ... if I still have my social security, where would / could I go? Canada would be my preference although that doesn't seem like a possibility now.
Gena / Touch Matters
I like the Forest and Rick Hansen podcast “being well”
https://www.nytimes.com/wirecutter/reviews/the-best-medical-alert-systems/
Update &/or renovate your home to be more user friendly. Like grab bars properly installed in your shower & toilet areas. Have your tub replaced and renovate the wet zone to instead have a no-rise walk in shower that you can sit down in and bathe/shower in. Double shower head. Limit the amount of containers in the shower and lavabo areas. If you have a door to just your toilet area, remove the door.
Better lighting throughout your home and property; have exit paths with some type of dusk to dawn lighting sources both inside the house and the yard. All that crap in upper shelves, get someone to help you get that stuff down, go thru and jettison or gift what you don’t use and only have things you actually use on shelves you can truly reach. If the empty space bothers you visually, then place whatever dust collectors ya can’t part with in the space. Remove rugs or anything else that can slide around when walked upon. Or get really good grippy for your type of flooring rug pads cut to fit
Buy shoes that actually are supportive and non slip for daily wear. Shoes that you 101% all on your own can take off & on.
Take care of your skin! It’s not too late to moisturize every day to protect it.
No, I don’t want my children to take care of me when I get to the point of feebleness. I was a caregiver for seven year for two people with many health problems, dementia and Parkinson’s and such. As one person said, you never know what the future holds.
I liked what Dr. Laura said “life is what happens while you’re making plans.” We do the best we can and we trust God to be there for us.
And not to get too political, but when you refer to the chainsaw guy and king Donald, they have both said repeatedly there will be no cuts to Medicare or Social Security. That’s all I’ll say. I don’t wanna get any huge arguments with anyone we all have our own opinion. We’re just here on this forum to support each other.
i’m forcing myself to be positive because there’s nothing else I can do. I’m just expressing a little depression and fear here because at least this is a place where you can be honest about your feelings without judgment. And if you were to talk to me to cheer me up, I would get cheered up and I would be happy and I’d be positive and looking forward to the future again after our conversation. but I also know myself that later on, I will find myself back in the same place Worrying about the future. You don’t talk to people face-to-face about stuff like this because they get awkward and don’t know what to say, so you get the “it’ll be OK, you’ll work something out” or maybe get a suggestion here or there, and then they’re looking around for somebody else to talk to that has more pleasant conversation to make. It’s just the way it is.
I guess I’m a little angry too. I’m angry at myself mostly. Change my attitude. Yeah OK that puts money on the table.
I have to ignore all that though, you have to just keep on doing what you can do every day.
Sorry for the downer and thanks for listening. I’ll be more positive tomorrow.