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I'm visiting my mother either tomorrow or this weekend and she has only been in a memory care a week. I'm desperate to see her and give her a hug, but I'm also worried about being able to control my emotions, especially when I have to leave. Any thoughts on what to do when visiting?

Watch TV together in their room. Choose light entertainment or something heartwarming like Little House on the Prairie. This gives something to talk about. Don’t focus on trying to make memories or show them pix of the past in order to stimulate memories. In my experience it’s a waste of time. Eat a meal with them there instead of sitting and visiting, then go home. Meet them on their level rather than expecting them to meet on yours.
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You do the same things you ever did. Chat? Play games if she's able? Stroll and look at the flowers coming out now in spring? Make a scrapbook?

You aren't responsible for happiness now.
Happiness isn't the goal and won't be happening.
This isn't a happy time.
This isn't a time with choices. If your mom weeps and begs then why would you not weep with her and sympathize with her losses.

The only way to walk through tough times is to put one foot in front of the other and walk it. I am so sorry. You are so sorry. SHE is so sorry. THAT --NONE OF THAT--changes a thing. Bring her a candy bar she loves. Bring her a picture book. Bring her a stuffed cat or bear. Bring her yourself and your love.
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Visiting mom in Memory Care is like nothing else on earth, as is the whole experience of dealing with dementia. Nothing else compares to what we go through during these visits, and the dread we feel beforehand. It's a good idea to leave right before you settle her into a meal or an activity, or visit with her in the outdoor area if there is one. My mom's MC had a beautiful outdoor garden the residents could visit anytime they wanted to, it was secure. Dropping her off at an activity is a distraction for you as much as it is for her. It'll keep you from falling apart if you're on the verge. But, if you do wind up being emotional, so what? You're entitled to your feelings as she is to hers. You feel badly for her disease, as you wish she were happier, healthier and in better spirits overall. My mother was constantly griping, complaining, or begging me to let her parents and siblings out of the closets I was hiding them in. Trust me there were many times I wanted to cry myself, and did on the way home in the car. We're human and this is all very difficult.

Wishing you the best of luck with a difficult situation. Keep us updated and let us know how it all works out.
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Tb, when your ready, to visit, you really just gotta suck it up. I know it's hard, my mil was in hospital, cancer and she didn't yet know it, I was 35, 4 young kids home and I just took a deep breath, smiled walked in the room. Smiled , walked out and lost it. Ya just gotta do what's best. Mil died , within 2 or 3 days after that. It was the right thing to do, and so glad I held it together, to see her one last time
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Keep it low key.
When you arrive greet her like you would if she were still at home.
As difficult as it is when you leave do not make a big deal of leaving.
Give her a kiss say "I will see you later" and leave.
If she begins to get upset as you are leaving try to get her involved with an activity then quietly slip away.
Then when you get to the car you can break down and cry.
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You do whatever you would do when you visited her at her home. Talk, read to her if she can no longer read, listen to music, share a favorite treat, take her outside weather permitting, as all memory cares have at least an outdoor patio and just be there for her.
And of course it's best if you at least wait until you're away from her before you break down and cry as you certainly don't want to upset her in any way.
I'm sure she will be happy to see you, so just try and enjoy your time with her.
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Why are you worried about becoming emotional ? Is Mom not adjusting well ?

If Mom is not adjusting well , perhaps wait another week .
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I agree that the best strategy would be to leave while you are together at a meal or activity. The aids will help you exit smoothly -- you can let them know this is your plan and they can come over and fuss over her while you say your goodbyes.

I just visited a long-time friend of mine in her new-ish MC facility. I asked her to give me tour, then stayed for a meal. I showed her pics on my phone and made sure to divert the conversation away from anything that fed into her paranoia or negativity (she has the anger-tainment news on constantly and the first thing she did when I walked into her room was to point at it and say breathlessly, "Have you heard of all the awful things going on?!?" To which I replied, "There have been awful things going on since the beginning of time, but I'm here to be with you so let me shut that off for you because I can't here you well with it on." And then we went on to have a very pleasant visit.
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I've often advised that it can be easier to share a meal together or accompany someone to an activity (bonus there is that can do double duty if they are reluctant to join in), that way there isn't as much pressure to make conversation plus there is an obvious end point.
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