My grandmother who has dementia but still very capable of taking care of herself, has lived with me for almost 9years. She has no paperwork as far as anyone being her poa or guardian. Her daughter, my aunt, is forcing her to stay at her house and wont let her come back home to our house. APS told us that if they remove her from there that she would be placed in a home and no one else would be able to get her, she would be a ward of the state. Am I able to just go and get her and bring her home legally? She hasn't had anything to do with my aunt in over a decade. I'm so afraid for her.
You cannot, no, go to take a patient with dementia out of the home of her next of kin who is caring for her. This would result in the police being called, your grandmother being returned to her daughter, in almost all circumstances.
Now if you have EVIDENCE as to abusive or neglectful care, you can continue to stay in contact with APS and ask about options. You can also go to an attorney and ask about ways in which you might apply for guardianship but this is A) expensive and B) would require SOLID evidence of abuse.
You have three choices. Grandmother, who was with you, somehow is now at daughters, where you "believe" she is unhappy.
1. You can fight this in expensive court case (you are looking at about 10,000) .
2. You can see an attorney for options. If you think care is abusive act with APS for investigation, allow state to take guardianship and place grandmother, and etc.
3. Engage with, visit, give respite to daughter; help her to care for her mom and your grandmom.
I sure wish you the best.
This would go to Court
A Judge would determine if there is a responsible family member that would be willing and able to be a Guardian. (This is presuming that grandma is no longer competent, if she is competent then she can make decisions for herself.)
I will say obtaining Guardianship is not easy and it is not inexpensive and you should have an Attorney and it should be one that is an Elder Care Attorney.
I have to ask this though....
If grandma had been living with you for 9 years how did she end up at her daughters home?
How long has she been at your aunts home?
How and why did APS become involved?
If you are not your Grandma's PoA then you cannot pay her bills using her money or make any medical decisions for her. Please read other posts on this forum from loving and well-meaning adult children and grandchildren who are now living with their demented elder but have no resources to pay for help and relief and are struggling to get them into a facility because they are overwhelmed. Your Grandma's dementia and physical care needs will only get worse since there is no treatment or cure for dementia.
If she becomes a ward of guardian, you would still be able to visit her wherever she is transitioned. My personal experience with a guardian for my SFIL was a very good one. They are not in the business of alienating family members unless they see them as abusive or having a negative impact on their ward.
Have you actually spoken to your Aunt about what's going on? It seems she has a more realistic view of your Grandma's future than you do. May you receive wisdom and peace in your heart during this time of change.