Follow
Share

When I was working in California I received a call from home informing me of my mom's condition and I jumped on a flight coming back to Louisiana but I didn't even make it on the plane and was told she passed and my dad passed away about 13 months ago and I found him deceased in his home and I can't find it in my heart to forgive my brother and sister for wanting to sell their house because I refuse to sign them papers giving my permission. If I allow it to happen then it's like I'm losing them all over again.

Find Care & Housing
My sincere condolences on the loss of your parents. I'm so sorry.

Look, being stubborn won't bring them back. Your brother and sister are doing nothing wrong. Selling the parents' house is the most common-sensible plan. If you don't sell it, the house sits there and moulders, costs a lot of money to maintain, or if someone does live there (as in renting it from the family), the house will be changed anyway. A house is just a house. Your emotions about it are real, but your thinking about those emotions is wrong. You won't forgive brother and sister for wanting to do the most sensible thing? That would get the burden of the house off of all of you? And bring money into the family?

If you keep on with this, brother and sister may not forgive YOU. Please stop thinking of the house as being your parents. They are gone. The house will be enjoyed by another family; that's what a house is for. I hope you'll sign and move on with your life because that's definitely what's best for all of you.
Helpful Answer (9)
Reply to Fawnby
Report

People react differently to loss. Some people find a deceased love one's home and property painful reminders and don't want to keep them because they bring distress, not comfort. Other people keep the memories just as strongly as you do without needing the physical possessions. Don't hold a grudge against your siblings because they react differently from how you do. There is nothing for you to forgive because they aren't doing anything wrong.

If you want to keep the house you need to get a fair market appraisal and buy out their shares. Otherwise they can file a partition lawsuit to require you to pay up or let go. It would be much better to agree now rather than fracturing your relationship with legal action. That would not honor your parents.
Helpful Answer (7)
Reply to MG8522
Report

What is it that you want to happen? The parents aren't coming back. If you want the house, you must buy out your siblings. If you can't, that is not their fault. Things are not people. Please see a therapist to help you with your complicated grief. Do not sacrifice the relationship you have with your living relatives over your inability to let go of a symbol of your deceased parents.
Helpful Answer (6)
Reply to ShirleyDot
Report

Buy your siblings out if you are feeling sentimental about the house. Own it yourself and pay the taxes, utilities, insurance and upkeep. It is not fair to impose financial hardship on your siblings because of your sentimentality.

You will also create a rift with your siblings. Relationships are more valuable than things.
Helpful Answer (6)
Reply to Hothouseflower
Report

Siblings can force a sale. I’m assume the house is in Louisiana, right?
LA runs slightly differently than other States as we are French law based (I’m in NOLA). Within a Succession in Louisiana, if there is an asset that is undivided interest and an heir is being difficult on having that asset sold, or having it transferred, or whatever to make it difficult for the asset to go through probate, then any of the heirs can file a lawsuit within the probate process against the difficult heir. The suit is to force a partition. They would enjoin the other heirs in their lawsuit, so they are not sued but are a part of the overall suit as they share as a heir.

A forced partition. Partition is called a “licitation” if it is an asset that is undivided interest (like a house, or a boat or a building) or it’s called a “metes” if it’s just land or something that can be divided. The probate atty will file it but will usually have a Real Estate atty doing the paperwork, so this will have seriou$$$ costs. And the difficult heir will be sued to be held responsible for the costs due to your delay. Costs can be expenses to have the house exist but also can be any increase in taxes your siblings incurred due to waiting. It’s really hard to represent yourself in actions like this, so you will need your own attorney with a State of LA license.

if you don’t want it sold, then you have to 100% on your own buy your siblings out.

Again if you want the house, you have to have the cash $ to pay your siblings for their share. You cannot get lending on the house as you do not own it. Louisiana does not - I’m pretty sure - allow for Owelty lien done for partitions. You have to have the cash. And expect your siblings atty to file for you to be responsible for any costs they paid as well as legal fees. Siblings - I imagine - have waited to deal with the house as father was alive and needed his participation. He’s dead & It’s over a year, this is only going to get more & more complicated and expensive and emotional the longer you put this off.
Helpful Answer (5)
Reply to igloo572
Report
Bulldog54321 Mar 10, 2025
Yup. OP has no choice here.
(2)
Report
The house is not your parents. The memories are your parents. The anger at your siblings is only harming you. The love you remember is your parents. Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself for it frees you to move forward. This is what your parents would want for you. I’m sorry for your losses, I’ve lost both my parents as well and know the pain. I personally sold their home, one they’d built with love. The house would have only been a sad shell, I have a gift of great memories that far surpasses any house. I wish you healing and peace
Helpful Answer (4)
Reply to Daughterof1930
Report

Go get a mortgage and buy your siblings out of their share of the inheritance, then you can do whatever you want with the house, live in it, make it a shrine or whatever.

If your siblings were here asking about this situation, I would tell them to take you to court to force the sale.

Just curious, do you have guilt that you didn't even live in the same state and that is holding you back from moving forward in your life? If you do, you shouldn't, kids grow up and move on with their goals and dreams and that often puts them many miles away. As a parent, I want my kids to be them best selves, wherever that may take them, no doubt, your parents wanted the same for their children.
Helpful Answer (4)
Reply to Isthisrealyreal
Report
igloo572 Mar 16, 2025
“make it a shrine”. OMGhow did it miss this! Chefs kiss emoji 2u, Real.
(3)
Report
The house is a building, not your parents. It costs money to maintain it, pay property taxes and homeowners insurance. Parents always want their estate to go to their kids. I lost both my parents, and it's heartbreaking.

Do you expect the empty house to sit there forever, by keeping it from being sold and the equity shared? Did your parents say in their Wills, "never sell our house and let it sit empty forever?" I doubt that.

Everyone handles grief differently. I'm sure finding your Dad was traumatic. But holding onto a vacant house and being so unforgiving to your siblings isn't what your Dad would have wanted. He would want you all to inherit what he had and accept his generous gift, a chance to get ahead in your lives!

You will eventually heal from this tragedy, but it will take time. You may need counseling, since 13 months has gone by and you are still unable to forgive your siblings or give permission to sell the house. They did not cause your Dad's passing. The reality is that we all die. Nobody lives on Earth forever.

What would your Dad tell you? To hold a grudge over your siblings from loosing him? To refuse the gift of his estate and prevent all of you from getting a life changing opportunity he wanted you ALL to have?

Sorry for your loss. I hope you cooperate and sell it.
Helpful Answer (4)
Reply to Dawn88
Report

As gently as I can say this - you only have a few options. Especially if your siblings are ready to sell. And if you don't move on with this soon - you may cause more damage than you intend to.

Your siblings can force the sale - it would involve lawyers - but if you don't buy them out of the fair market value of the sale- they can retain a lawyer and force the sale.

My heart goes out to you, it really does. But perhaps it is time for you to consider finding a grief counselor or therapist to help you as well. While I realize that no one can tell you how to grieve or how long to grieve, perhaps your siblings need closure as well.

The other side of the coin is are you the one paying all of the bills on the house? Or are your siblings on the hook for covering the shared costs of keeping the home? We had to force the sale of my FIL's home - not legally because my SIL and her DH didn't have a leg to stand on - but the biggest issue was that they could not afford to pay the monthly bills on the house -and we had our own bills to pay and couldn't afford to maintain two homes any longer.

While you may not agree and believe they should feel the way that you do, your siblings are entitled to their fair share of the home - either via sale or you buying them out. You are holding on to anger with your siblings but honestly - that's not fair to them - perhaps the way they grieve is to close the estate and move forward with their lives?
Helpful Answer (4)
Reply to BlueEyedGirl94
Report

There are a couple of possibilities here. OP has not been back for 3 days. Sitting back and watching? Gone way away in disgust?

1) First possibility: It’s a scam post. Three blind mice (that’s us), see how they run?
2) Second: OP is not quite sane. The siblings will have to deal with that, as OP has made up his/her mind.
3) It’s intended to make lots of people look up ‘Cuccio’ and go visit the restaurant with that name.

Take your pick.
Helpful Answer (4)
Reply to MargaretMcKen
Report
Fawnby Mar 13, 2025
The lasagna was great.
(4)
Report
See 1 more reply
See All Answers
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter