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I'm 37 and a friend to a 66 year old man that was a drunk. He didn't take care of himself he didn't listen to his doctor and go to all the referrals she told him to and now he is handicapped and I'm cleaning him up and taking care of him. He refuses to go to the hospital and I'm sick of taking care of him especially knowing that he choose this. What do I do. He does have home health come twice a week one for physical therapy and other just to check his vitals. It pisses me off that he did this to himself by not taking care of himself and getting drunk all the time and now it depending on me to take care of him when I have a son to take care of and I need to take care of myself but after doing all this I will ever have energy for myself or hardly for my son and it's not right it's taken away my life what do I do

Do you live with him?

Only asking because if you do, it would explain why it seems so hard for you to stop the caregiving. And you will get different and additional suggestions.
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Reply to Geaton777
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Simply put, your friends, no matter their circumstances are not your responsibility. You’re going way past the bounds of friendship. If he won’t accept you backing off to a normal level of concern and involvement, then he’s no friend at all. Your life and time can’t be taken unless you allow it. Change your behavior in this, backing off to only what’s doable and comfortable for you, and no more
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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Jodic811 Jan 1, 2025
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Your son is your priority. Do you have a paying job? If not, tell your friend that you will be getting one and no longer have time to care for him. And then do what you can to find a job ASAP. The next time the PT and nurse come in, let each of them know that you will no longer be providing care, and ask them who you should contact to let them know that your friend will need additional services, or ask if they are able to make this report themselves.
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Reply to MG8522
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Jodic811 Jan 1, 2025
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I hope you don’t live with this man .
Walk away , this is not your responsibility .
Call APS .
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Reply to waytomisery
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Stop doing what you have been doing.
I know it is going to be difficult and you are going to feel "guilty" DONT'T
Let the Home Health aides and or Physical Therapists know that you can no longer do what you have been doing. If by chance you know the number for a caseworker contact them and let them know that you can no longer help.
You can also make a phone call to APS and let them know that this is a "vulnerable" senior.
If he has family you can also let them know what the situation is.

You are not responsible for this person.
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Reply to Grandma1954
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Let home health care know you will not be returning to his care.
They will contact social services for you.

If, of course, you are living in his home currently, this will mean a need for new housing for yourself and your son. You will, if living with him, need to give him notice of the day you will be leaving so he an arrange care, or let his caregivers know you are no longer available.

It isn't really your concern "how he got here". That isn't your business honestly, as a friend. As a friend it is simply for you to decide what you can or wish to provide for him now, or do NOT wish to.

I want to wish you a good new year, happy and productive for yourself and your son. Remember, he is your first priority. Wishing you best of luck.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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Jodic811 Jan 1, 2025
Thank you
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