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Yes, you can pull Report as Caregiver . We do not place to take money from the client and do other way to go pay their bills or anything less they cannot get out and about or take care of yourself then you can go pay their bills, but I know you don’t place to take no money from a patient
If she cashes a check (?) or you have a paper trail, perhaps you can take her to small claims court, if worth it.
I wouldn't 'try' to repair relationship as your dad clearly has dementia and there is nothing you can do to stop that. The best you can do is change your attitude about him and the situation.
You must have legal authority so he isn't able to do this again (why was he able to it is the first place if in a nursing home ???)
If you do not have legal authority to manage his finances, it appears he can do what he wants with his money, dementia or not.
I question if you knew this scenario as it was developing why you didn't take some control over his finances - if you were able to do so? Since he's in a nursing home, I am presuming, perhaps incorrectly, that you manage(d) his finances and have legal authority in other areas.
Understand what dementia is. You need to learn how to take care of yourself emotionally and mentally. It is a cruel disease/condition and will put any one of us through the ringer if we do not learn how to shift of own brain chemistry / thoughts. Realize that he cannot help it ... it is his brain changing ... so you then shift to compassion. And ensure you have legal authority over ... everything.
I don't think there's anything you can do for now. Perhaps he'll come around. I hope so. People have said it wasn't your business if he was of sound mind, but they fail to understand that the CNA was in a position to take advantage of him, and that's why that isn't allowed. It's too easy to sway an old person to give up their money, which puts the CNA in a position of power. What she did was unethical. Maybe she is totally innocent and was fond of him and just talked about her life and problems, but that doesn't change the fact that she should never have taken that money no matter how much he insisted. I would say give your brother time. Don't contact him for a bit so he can miss you. It's easier to forgive someone when you start to miss them. You did the right thing by reporting her. That type of behavior just can't be accepted.
Really, that aide is at least half his age and he thinks she will marry him? Thats delusional and says Dementia to me.
Did the aide get fired? As Alva says, aides should not be discussing their personal life with residents. He did say she turned it down. IMO the aide should have told the her boss what the resident was doing. Then her boss explains to brother that staff cannot receive money from residents. If he is fixated on that aide, she should not have been allowed to care for him.
If you are not his PoA you have no power to do anything except report it to the admins of this nursing home and maybe talk to an ombudsman. But again, if you aren't his PoA, not sure this can go anywhere. If he has a legal guardian, I would certainly inform this person or entity.
If he has no PoA and no legal guardian, then I would consider talking to social services to get him on track for a guardian. He'll need one at some point, it seems sooner rather than later.
Question here is: IS he of sound mind? Or is he diagnosed with dementia?
That honestly is the only question as far as HIS actions go, as if he is competent he can give money to whomever and whenever he wishes.
HOWEVER: the CNA is out of line and KNOWS it. That is abuse of her job. Any CNA working there would have been severely cautioned about this. She should not be working in a care facility.
I would simply tell brother "I understand it is your choice to give money to whomever you like (IF this is true) BUT the CNA knows BETTER than to discuss her personal situation with those she is giving care to; that isn't legal OR ethical. And while YOU may be competent there are many here who ARE NOT and who may lose EVERYTHING to someone who is essentially acting abusively in her job. I am sorry you are offended but I did what I believed was right, and I would do it all over again, and if that means you don't wish to see me or talk to me, that's fine. Call when you want to; meanwhile I will catch up with friends. AND, do know if you ever report someone doing something this dangerous and illegal and scammy again, I WILL REPORT IT".
End of sentence. You can shorten it if you like ;)
You say that bro also was speaking of marriage. That makes me tend to think he is NOT rational. So only you can know how irrational he is. This may simply blow over without your saying a thing. Please be certain that your complaint is in writing. It is important for the sake of others that this is investigated and addressed.
Thanks, the CNA is no longer employed at the facility because of this episode. Bro is not diagnosed with dementia. He has a history of bad decisions in his life and this was just one more. I wrote him an email and will leave it at that.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I wouldn't 'try' to repair relationship as your dad clearly has dementia and there is nothing you can do to stop that. The best you can do is change your attitude about him and the situation.
You must have legal authority so he isn't able to do this again (why was he able to it is the first place if in a nursing home ???)
If you do not have legal authority to manage his finances, it appears he can do what he wants with his money, dementia or not.
I question if you knew this scenario as it was developing why you didn't take some control over his finances - if you were able to do so? Since he's in a nursing home, I am presuming, perhaps incorrectly, that you manage(d) his finances and have legal authority in other areas.
Understand what dementia is. You need to learn how to take care of yourself emotionally and mentally. It is a cruel disease/condition and will put any one of us through the ringer if we do not learn how to shift of own brain chemistry / thoughts. Realize that he cannot help it ... it is his brain changing ... so you then shift to compassion. And ensure you have legal authority over ... everything.
Gena / Touch Matters
Since brother is competent, then I guess you just bide your time. I am to the age I just don't let those type of things get to me.
Did the aide get fired? As Alva says, aides should not be discussing their personal life with residents. He did say she turned it down. IMO the aide should have told the her boss what the resident was doing. Then her boss explains to brother that staff cannot receive money from residents. If he is fixated on that aide, she should not have been allowed to care for him.
All you can do is apologize to him and ask his forgiveness if you want to repair the relationship.
If he has no PoA and no legal guardian, then I would consider talking to social services to get him on track for a guardian. He'll need one at some point, it seems sooner rather than later.
That honestly is the only question as far as HIS actions go, as if he is competent he can give money to whomever and whenever he wishes.
HOWEVER:
the CNA is out of line and KNOWS it.
That is abuse of her job. Any CNA working there would have been severely cautioned about this. She should not be working in a care facility.
I would simply tell brother "I understand it is your choice to give money to whomever you like (IF this is true) BUT the CNA knows BETTER than to discuss her personal situation with those she is giving care to; that isn't legal OR ethical.
And while YOU may be competent there are many here who ARE NOT and who may lose EVERYTHING to someone who is essentially acting abusively in her job.
I am sorry you are offended but I did what I believed was right, and I would do it all over again, and if that means you don't wish to see me or talk to me, that's fine. Call when you want to; meanwhile I will catch up with friends.
AND, do know if you ever report someone doing something this dangerous and illegal and scammy again, I WILL REPORT IT".
End of sentence. You can shorten it if you like ;)
You say that bro also was speaking of marriage. That makes me tend to think he is NOT rational. So only you can know how irrational he is. This may simply blow over without your saying a thing.
Please be certain that your complaint is in writing. It is important for the sake of others that this is investigated and addressed.